Sportsmanship & Civility: RIP?

I went to a Yankees-Red Sox game at Yankee Stadium today with my wife, Karen, my business partner Peggy and her fiancé, Paul.  We sat in some very nice seats in right field.  The place was mobbed; over 55,000 in attendance.  The weather was beautiful (at least during the early innings). 

Before the game started, the crowd was very energized.  Lots of Red Sox fans come to these games in the Bronx, so there were several interesting sights, including more than one couple like the one pictured here. 

Divided allegiances are not unusual in this rivalry. 

We have this situation in our family as well.  My son-in-law, Jeremy, is a lifelong diehard Red Sox fan.  I've rooted for lots of teams in my life, but since we've moved back East 11 years ago, I've really enjoyed rooting for the Yankees.  Jeremy and I have found a way to deal with our diverse loyalties.

While sitting in these seats today, it occurred to me that the first time I sat in practically this exact location was when I was about three years old.   Almost 55 years ago.  I don't think I've been in this spot since.

And I was struck by how much things have changed.  The fans at today's game were vulgar and hostile.   Every few minutes, "Yankees Suck" or "Boston Sucks" cheers would spring up.  There was a lot of swearing by fans of both teams and, as the  large volume beers  took effect, the mood was a little unpleasant.  Never would have happened in 1950.  Not because we didn't want our teams to win.  But something's changed.

There were four Red Sox fans behind us and they were obnoxious from the first inning on.  Taunting Yankees players, making all kinds of stupid remarks and generally making asses of themselves.   They made the experience very unpleasant.  Not because they were Red Sox fans.  Because they were loaded with hostility.

The game itself was a bust.  Not just because the Yankees lost, but because they lost 17-1.  I wouldn't have minded if they'd lost 5-4; well, I would have minded, but at least a 5-4 game would have been fun.  This was no fun, not even for Red Sox fans.

But the point of this was that a lot of the fun's gone out of attending these events for me.  There's too much desire for humiliation in the air.  Too much anger.  Too little appreciation of the other.  If the Red Sox fans behind us had been Yankees fans and the score reversed, I'd have felt the same.   I don't like being around intense hostility, especially when doing something recreational.

Then, as I started this blog, I looked at the picture and saw these teams' red and blue colors.  I thought, "huh, just like red states, blue states."  Same pattern.  Same hostility.  Same animosity.  Same desire for domination.  Same need to shut the other color up. 

The problem isn't just sportsmanship, it's civility.

Politics, we now say, is a blood sport.  And so is sports.

Some of us, like this couple and like my son-in-law and I, have retained a way to respect one another while feeling passionately about our preferences.

But many of us seem to have given up trying to do so.

I wonder if we're forgotting how to be different together. 

In America, that's scary.

Comments

[Jeremy]

Tom....as always, great post!
I have blogged about this very topic on a couple different occasions, and while I don't have quite the way with words as you do, I believe my point is the same. I hate that the fans think they are a bigger part of the game then they are. And I hate when it becomes a competition of how one team's fans can embarrass the other team's fans more. It's not just in this rivalry, it is at every level of athletics, unfortunately. Friendly banter is one thing, but when it gets to this level, it worries me too. And it makes me wonder what types of things my son will see in his life.

[John Wagner]

Tom:

Great post ... I purchased season tickets to the Houston Texans for their inaugural season. Quickly realized what a colossal mistake it was, for all the same reasons you mentioned.

After my initial enthusiasm for a new stadium, etc., I found myself dreading the entire effort, primarily because of the fans around us. They simply sapped all the fun out of the experience with their language, boorish, drunken behavior and complete lack of civility.

I wound up giving most of my tickets away and never renewed. Today I don't even watch football.

It's a shame.

[Tom Guarriello]

Thanks for the kind words.

I'm afraid we're headed for a Euro-soccer kind of world where the animosities get so strong that people lose perspective. Sure hope not, but it's a little scary.

[Connie Sartain]

That's so sad...a beautiful post though.

[jackie]

I wonder if this has an effect on the ticket sales. In many statiums across the country, ticket sales are down tremendously.