Bobby Pope: January, 1958 - October 12, 2008

My nephew Bobby died on Sunday. He would have been 51 in January.

Bobby's mother married my brother when Bobby was 5 or so. He's been my nephew since then. I was always his "Uncle Tommy."

It wasn't always easy for Bobby. He was a raging kid; didn't much care for authority. But, luckily, he met Gina, another Long Island survivor, and fell in love. Turned out Gina's father was a pipefitter and got Bobby into the union. That seemed to do it for Bobby. He started working and never stopped; worked his ass off. That was about 23 years ago.

Bobby and Gina had four kids. Three boys and then, finally, a girl. Unfortunately, the girl had severe cerebral palsy. Really severe. She's around 16 now, can't take care of herself, and requires constant care. Tough stuff.

On November 7, 2005, Bobby and Gina's oldest child, Bob Jr., was patrolling some meaningless road in Southern Baghdad. An IED exploded. Bob was killed instantly. Of course, Bobby and Gina were crushed. We all were. Not much to say, really, except how sorry we were.

When Karen, my wife, heard that Bobby had died on Sunday, she said, "he's been despondent since Little Bob died..." Yup.

I always thought Bobby was a dead ringer for Tom Waits; same gravelly sensibility, too. I always thought of Bobby when I saw Waits.

This is one of my favorite Tom Waits songs, for Bobby.

The bats are in the belfry
the dew is on the moor
where are the arms that held me
and pledged her love before
and pledged her love before

Chorus

It's such a sad old feeling
the fields are soft and green
it's memories that I'm stealing
but you're innocent
when you dream
when you dream
you're innocent
when you dream

running through the graveyard
we laughed my friends and I
we swore we'd be together
until the day we died
until the day we died

Repeat Chorus

I made a golden promise
that we would never part
I gave my love a locket
and then I broke her heart
and then I broke her heart

Comments

[Jeff]

My condolences, Tom.

[Paul]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Jeremy]

That is a beautiful tribute Tom.

Unfortunately I see a similar case of the despondent father that lost his oldest son on occasion, and it is sad.

We're sorry, but now Bobby can be with his oldest boy.

[Ken G.]

Best wishes to your whole family.

[Scott]

We're very sorry to hear about your loss...take care Tom